Sweetened Milk

Organic Scum 

The Great Ambiguity 

Now that I can let go 

Leaving nothing to be done

I release

all of that Holding on to so many things 

being so mindful of myself

watching my moods change

I am rejoicing in all of this

nothing

now I am looking for nothing

and finding so much in nothing

all of my joy

is exploding into nothing

like an empty room

where you and I are at rest

Sweet love 

release me from my thinking 

I keep grounding myself in all of this chaos

mining an identity from this not knowing

feeling for the right words in my mouth

and it feels dirty like its keeping me here

stuck in this place

mindful of the wrong things

forgetting to be grateful but remembering I forgot

wanting to feel less

wanting not to come

wanting to be less sensitive so i dont always hurt

wanting to avoid weakness because it wasn’t

godlike

and i want to be like my krshna

but all i can do is cry and cry

and all he can do is forgive me for my posturing

abusing myself

desperate to achieve perfection

still convinced my liberation would be in transcendence